Hello,
My name is Kathryn dePoo, Key West High School Graduate in the class of 71.
My son Jonathan was in the class of 2005. Thank you for allowing us to make
this presentation to your class.
For those of you who didn’t know Jonathan de Poo-Gorman was a freshman in
2002 when he died in a car accident that tragically took 4 other lives as
well. Had Jon continued his education, he would be graduating with this
class. Some of you had been friends of his since elementary school.
As you can understand this loss has been agonizing for our family and his
friends. During those early days of grief, the community offered so much
comfort and support. Many students from KWHS reached out to our family with
cards and letters of sympathy and condolences. We were very appreciative of
those loving offerings to help us through the dark times. If you were one of
the many that came to our house and sat in our lane those first few nights,
I thank you for coming. It must have been very difficult for some of you to
reach out to us, and we will always be grateful that you overcame your fear
to share our pain.
At that time we decided to take the money that we had put aside for Jon’s
education and use it to help other students advance in life. We are very
grateful for the generous support from the community for this effort.
Specifically we would like to thank our coworkers at the Post Office and our
union brothers and sisters in the American Postal Workers Union for their
contributions and buying the cookies I have been baking these past three
years.
Jonathan’s short life was a gift in so many ways. Even though he left us
much too soon, we are grateful for the time he was here. His bright smile
and loving ways warmed our hearts. Losing him has been the most devastating
thing imaginable. We don’t understand the reason why a child is taken at a
young age, but I believe from the core of my heart there always is a reason,
a purpose no matter how difficult the experience. We struggled to find
meaning, but the meaning we found was in Jon’s life, not his death.
What did we learn from this boy:
We learned so many things, but especially Kindness, Joy, Generosity,
Loyalty, Humor, Love and Forgiveness. Much the same things we can learn from
all kids, if we stop and listen. Unfortunately, too often we don’t take the
time to listen.
Mostly, we live in culture based upon doing not being. Often we are so busy
making plans and chasing goals that we don’t make time for the really
important things in life. We are encouraged to believe that achievements
will help us attain an internal state of satisfaction that comes from having
a meaningful existence. We do not take the time to feel whether our hearts
are leading us, or being pushed by aside by “busyness”. Jon didn’t seem to
have that problem. Whatever Jon did, he did with his whole heart and if his
heart was not into it, he simply didn’t do it. For many years, this attitude
was a frustration for me and his teachers. Now I think he was on to
something. He was true to himself, whether it was his love of hockey, his
loyalty to friends, his cookie baking skills or his attraction for Magic
Cards and Beanie babies, he put his whole heart into what he loved and went
with it.
Sudden loss awakens us to the fragility of our relationships with loved
ones. It reminds us to tell people close to us that we love them and value
them. When we understand a valuable thing is fragile, we protect it, we
don’t treat it carelessly. My son taught me to be more present in each day,
more real and loving in my daily exchanges, less concerned about producing a
certain result and more concerned about being fully present in each moment,
more concerned about being a good person. This was his gift to me and to
everyone who knew him. For Jonathan, everyone was family.
Once he admonished me for calling his step brother, Jacob, his friend. He
said “Jacob is my brother’s brother so he is my brother AND my friend“.
Maybe he understood that we all have the same Father, we are all children of
the same God, so everyone is a brother or sister. He lived this way in life
, and his sudden departure forced us to begin living these truths as well.
It has been said that someone’s life has meaning if it touches another life
for the better. By that definition Jon’s happy life was very meaningful. He
was always upbeat, loved to hear and tell funny stories. Often he couldn’t
finish telling them, he was laughing too hard. He cracked himself up and
anyone who listened. I thank all of you who wrote to us for sharing those
fond memories about him. Your happy memories gave me comfort in the darkest
hours.
Jon was not a saint, but he showed that we do not have to be Mother Theresa
to make a difference in someone else’s life. We have learned that even
though we may not be saints, we all have saintly qualities. I encourage you
to honor the saintly qualities in yourself and others everyday. Don’t be
afraid to let your love shine! Jonathan didn’t. That was his special gift.
We have all received gifts with this life ..... we don’t all have the same
gifts, thank goodness. How boring this adventure would be if we did.... but
not one has been forgotten or neglected. Honor and develop your gifts and
happiness will follow you like a servant.
As many of you know, Jon’s religious name was Jaganath. This is a Sanskrit
name for God that in the English language has come to mean, “unstoppable
force” . It also implies fearlessness. Three years ago, when Jonathan’s life
with us was abruptly cut short on Card Sound road, the irony of this name
was very painful. Over the years I have come to realize that God’s
unstoppable force is actually Love. Jon did possess this quality, he was
very generous in his affections for others, in the end that love is the only
thing that we can keep of his. Now I understand his fearlessness in this
regard was justified.
Whatever religion you follow, or even if you don’t believe in God at all -
science has shown that those who are slow to take offense and quick to
forgive are healthier, happier people. Jonathan was quick to forgive. Once
when I encouraged him to be more aloof with a friend who had neglected him,
he laughed at me and said “Mom, that’s not important, he is my friend”. He
didn’t neglect the important things in life, and he certainly was not going
to neglect a friend out of fear of being hurt again.
Why be cautious with love? Jon wouldn’t be....... in love he was fearless.
Be generous in life, generous with your time and love. But cautious in your
desire for prestige and honor.
I believe that like parents using positive affirmation techniques to help
their kids modify behavior, God is always waiting to catch us doing
something right. When we do the right thing we know it, because of the
feeling we get deep our hearts. I pray that each of you stays in touch with
those qualities of youth that are still fresh and trusting. Your intuition
is your inner conversation with God - now that you are facing adult life,
take time to practice stillness so that you can maintain the ear to hear
that guiding voice. Whether you call it reflection, meditation or prayer -
take some time each day to stay connected to your inner source of strength
and love.
I recently reread all of those cards and letters from three years ago and
was again moved by the outstanding care, concern and love of so many kids in
this class. Your personal stories about Jon moved my heart and made my
burden easier to bear. Knowing that he was loved by so many, was a blessing
that will never be forgotten.
Because this would have been his graduating class, this is the first year we
are giving the award. Rather than giving a scholarship based upon grades, or
industry, (which Jon would have never qualified for, he probably wouldn’t
even have bothered to apply for,) we want to recognize those individuals who
manifest inspirational qualities of the heart. We want to thank all of you
for being our teachers for having the courage to be kind.
Since this is the first year for the award, we thought it would be nice to
recognize a boy and a girl from this class rather than just one person.
The young man who immediately came to mind was a close friend of Jonathan’s.
He was the last friend of Jon’s I spoke with that terrible night before we
knew of that he wasn’t coming home and the first one to call us when we
found out. Even though I am sure it was very difficult for him to call, in
fact he could hardly talk, he overcame his fear and reached out to us. He
has the qualities of joy, generosity, humor, and forgiveness that I spoke
about earlier. Qualities that are not always valued in life as much as they
should be. I don’t know if these qualities lead to material success, but I
do know they make one a happier person and that is the real success of life.
The girl we picked to honor, also reached out to us back then with a sweet
note of remembrance and sympathy. And then a few weeks ago she came to the
Post Office and brought a photo that she had found of Jonathan from HOB. A
very sweet and loving thing to do for a parent that does not want to think
her son is forgotten in the shuffle of life. She touched my heart with her
generosity and thoughtfulness.
After picking these two outstanding individuals and making the arrangement
with Ms. Calleja, we somehow still didn’t feel that warm feeling in the
heart that I mentioned earlier. Somehow, we still did not feel satisfied and
then we realized why. We were being too cautious and not as generous as we
could be. Not as generous as Jon would be with those he loved. Maybe he was
pushing us a little bit from somewhere to open our hearts more for his
classmates and friends.
It was impossible to decide who to pick, because I really don’t know most of
you. So we put the name of every one of you who reached out to comfort us in
some way in a hat and picked out six more kids to represent all of you. Know
that we appreciate all of you and honor all of you for your kindness and
pray that you always find happiness in life.
Will the following representatives from the outstanding class of 2005 come
forward.
David Spottswood
Dekariss Barnett,
Daniel Garcia
Rachel Walterson
Nick Formico
Veronica Herrera
Michael Ramirez
And Morgan Ford
So you can take a piece of the Keys with you wherever you go, my sister
Martha made the award plaque with a photo of the beautiful sky over Snipes
and my favorite quote from the Bible “.....love never fails.” One last
thing, I would like to thank Ms Kinune and Ms Calleja for being there for me
these last few difficult weeks coming to the school. Their kindness and
encouragement gave me strength and purpose.
And I mentioned that Jon loved beanie babies, well we have 280 beanie babies
and teeny beanie babies at the house looking for a new home. Ms. Macpherson
has been kind enough to let us distribute one to every senior tomorrow at
graduation practice. Please take them home to remind you of Jonathan and to
not lose sight of what is really important in life. Never let the
opportunity slip by to do the right thing, always tell someone you love how
you feel. Live everyday as if it may be your last one together, because it
just may be. Thank you, God bless all of you, have the courage to let your
light shine as a reflection of God’s love.
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